When they finally decided to live together, naturally Hans moved in with Levi. Cameron and Emmy Lou insisted on leaving the master bed room. Cameron was getting really old, had arthritis and preferred staying downstairs anyway.

Levi and Hans redecorated the bedroom.

But living together wasn’t enough.

One day, they secretly dressed up an visited the City hall…

They had prepared all the papers weeks in advance, and agreed on skipping the official ceremony with after-following party.

They got married, just the two of them and two formal witnesses.

When they left the building Levi couldn’t help but staring at his finger. He was wearing the exact same ring as Hans, a plain platinum ring, but it felt like it was sparkling. He giggled and looked at his hand, over and over again.

…
While Levi and Hans lived in a haze of love, planning for the rest of their future together, Liv focused hard on her career. The more she worked, the more far away she drifted from Matthew.

Emmy Lou was jubilant for her daughters success.
And Levi just smiled when he looked at his little sister and how happy she was.

She wasn’t even sorry when Matthew broke up with her. His explanation was that he felt her mind was somewhere else and he doubted she loved him. He was right. She felt a little bad though, not to make it fair and tell him straight instead of letting him suffer.
..
One Saturday Liv went to the library.
“Liv… Liv, is that you?” She heard a familiar voice behind her. She turned around.

“Hi… it’s me… Scot.”
It took another couple of seconds before she realised how it was. The teenage boy with mohawk hair and piercings had grown into a little dorky (in a good way), handsome young man.
“Oh… my god is that you, Scot? I didn’t recognize you at first!

It turned out Scot worked as researcher. He loved gardening and spending time in lab. He told her with great enthusiasm about all kinds of cell experiments. It might sound boring but he was such a god story teller that Liv listened, fascinated.

Liv realised he had a great sense of humour because he made all kinds of funny jokes and imitated people.

It just clicked, there and then.
And they started dating.


And Scot moved in, just three months later.

Scot was getting on well with both Levi and Hans. Well, obviously, he was an old friend of Levi, but also Hans appreciated Scot’s social skills.

And Liv had just got promoted to Squad leader… when…


… Liv realised she was pregnant! At first she’d been worrying Scot would think things went a little to fast, but instead he seemed overwhelmed. He turned into the most tender father-to-be.
The second person Liv told was Levi.

He was actually surprised. Liv had gained some weight but couldn’t possibly think it had anything to do with her being pregnant. He was happy for her though.

Levi didn’t tell Liv about his own yearning for children. He and Hans had been discussion the issue for months. Hans wanted kids too, but it was not easy. Adoption was hard, it could take years of inquiries and still there were no guarantee they’ll ever get a baby. Then there were egg donors and surrogat mothers. There were hundreds of egg donor databases on Internet. Hans and Levi had been searching many of them closely, reading all about “Lindsay, 24 years old a christian nurse who liked cats” or “Mona, 28 who was married and had two kids of her own and wanted to donor her eggs because she wanted to give a gift to other people”. Then there was everything about eye color, body type, hair structure and ethnic background. Not all of the agencies were open to donor for gay couples, and there were also complex laws to learn about.

They had both agreed that they wanted a women who wanted to be a mother. Levi and Hans wanted custody but still wanted the children’s mum to be in their kids life. It was important to them that the child didn’t grow up, longing for a mother he or she never could have.
Finally, it was time for their first meeting with a potential egg donor.

Her name was Alicia, she was 27 years old, married and already had one child.


She was easy-going at first. She spoke a lot, openly about most things. Which was good. But then the truth came out. Hans asked her if she liked sports.

“Uhg, I hate traditional sports. All I care for is Martial arts and yoga”

Since almost all kinds of sports were such an important part of both Levi’s and Hans lives, Alicia was not an option.
…
Next lady in the list was Amanda. She was 23 years old and top student at law school. On the photos she looked like… “uh a barbie doll”. Hans called it. But her resume was so impressing they couldn’t resist at least seeing her.

unfortunately, both Levi and Hans got bad wibes as soon as she entered the living room – and headed for the bar.

“I drink would be nice” She said with her sweetest smile.

“Uhh… I can make you a smoothie or something”. Hans said and glanced at Levi.
Amanda looked a little surprised. It was obvious she’d expected another kind of drink even though time was only 4 pm.
Levi came up to join her at the bar stool.

The conversation was slow as syrup.
No. Amanda would not be the mum of their child.
…
Both Levi and Hans had high hopes for meeting number three – Miranda.

Levi had looked at her picture and thought the likeness with Hans was striking.
“She has your exact features. And look at her eyes, deep brown like yours!”
“I don’t know. Maybe. ” Hans said with a smile. “But after reading her profile she seems to be both athletic and likes playing guitar, just like you. Can’t be bad”
It turned out Miranda was an easy-going and cheerful person. They had a nice conversion.


Levi liked her. Hans liked her.

And the journey could begin.
…
But long before Levi and Hans and could become parents, Live gave birth to…


Twin boys!

First was Noel, who was born evil and disciplined.

Second twin was Sebastian, born athletic and a genius.


…
Miranda, Hans and Levi spend many hours at the fertility clinic in town.

But then it all went fast.


“Hans, Hans, you gotta come here. Miranda has some wonderful news!”

Hans was overwhelmed. Even though he wasn’t the child’s biological father, he felt for real as he was becoming a dad.

“I think it’s a little to early to feel anything yet.” Miranda laughed. What you feel now is mostly cheesecake – a result from my cravings!”

“Hey, Miranda… and Levi, I have an idea. Why don’t you Miranda, move in with us? I mean, until the baby is born… and… well, you can stay for a while after the baby i born too…”

Levi nodded. He thought it was an excellent idea. He liked Miranda, the three of them got along very well. He didn’t mind having her in the house and there for their unborn child.
“I suppose it’s to late to think about a traditional family anyway. I’d love to stay with you. If you want me to.” Miranda said.

So Miranda moved in.
And stayed until the birth.

Unfortunately, two men is just as useless as one man when a woman is in labour pain…

…
Luckily everything went well. And a little boy was born. They gave him the name Oscar, after Levi’s favourite author Oscar Wilde.


He was born friendly and clumsy, with his fathers green eyes, and a lighter shade of the hair than both his biological parents.
…
The house was never quiet. Generation 6 was born.



Life was suddenly filled with dirty diapers, late nights and early mornings, food stains, toys all over the place, screaming, crying… and joy.

“We are lucky, aren’t we, Hans? Right now, I must be the happiest man on earth”
“I feel the exact same way. That makes us the two happiest men on earth right now. Doesn’t it?”

The end.
Or not really. I will not leave the game completely, but I will not be working on making stories and update this blog anymore. I really want to thank all great followers out there! Thank you for reading and commenting! I’ve started a new blog on a blogspot account that I plan to use for sharing stuff (gosh, it’s so much faster handling pictures!). My first upload is the legacy house! Please visit pollysims.blogspot.com!

Not only did I lose love, I lost a friend. But it’s understandable why Andy doesn’t want to see me anymore. First I kissed him but when he opened his heart, I rejected him. All these superficial relationships, it’s not my style at all. I don’t like flirting. I don’t like dating. I’m out of that scene for a while.

My sister is more lucky though. At my birthday party she seemed to hook up with my friend Matthew. I was happy for her. Matt is a good guy.


Actually, I made a hasty conclusion. She’s had her fair share of problems too.
Before she started going out with Matt, there was something going on with her and the Bloom brothers. The Bloom brothers was in my class in high school. Both Aidan and Scot started hitting on her. I knew Scot had a crush on her because I could tell in the way he looked at her…

But then she messed everything up by making out with Aidan at a party…

This was before she was dating with Matt, I want to emphasize. At least they weren’t official yet. The problem was Aidan was dating Maya.

Oh, Maya was furious. She was yelling like crazy.

Liv was very regretful afterwards. She asserted it didn’t mean anything. She had no feelings for Scot at all. I doubt she’ll ever be friends with Maya, though. And Scot, poor Scot. He rejected her later…


I think Scot is fine now, anyway. Last time I spoke to him he had a girlfriend. Maya and Aidan broke up later, but I doubt it’s just Liv’s fault. I know for a fact Aidan is a ladies man and wasn’t ready for a relationship at that time. Maya deserves better. And so is my sis’.
…
Liv has calmed down considerably. She has a boyfriend and is also determined to get become an astronaut one day. She’s decided to join the army as soon as she turn 18 and has suddenly become interested in mechanics, electronics and… Lo and behold… exercising!

…
This is my sister now:

She’s 18 and more beautiful than ever. She celebrated her birthday without me. She went away on a weekend trip to Paris with mum. I’m so happy the finally seem to find real friendship in each other. And it was in Paris Liv found her new look:

I’m so proud of my sister. She’s in the army, and I have to admit I didn’t believe in her from the beginning. She has never been into sports, never showed any interest in other stuff that books and arts. And boys. She looks great in her uniform.

And Liv and mum gets along pretty well nowadays. They like art, both of them, and the visit the art gallery almost every weekend.

I’m not quite sure they watch a lot of art. They seem to chat and gossip more.
…
Me on the other hand, prefer to spend time at the gym. My routine is the same. First 20-40 minutes on the treadmill, then I pump iron, I alternate different muscle groups between my sessions, and I usually finish with swimming. Sometimes, if it’s not to late, I go outside to relax and just enjoy the feeling of a good workout suit.

It was a Wednesday, my day off and I had spent about three hours at the gym when my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number at the display and answered.
It was Hans. My ex boyfriend Hans, who I hadn’t spoken to for almost three years.

I was in shock.
“How are you?” He asked tentatively.
“… I’m fine.” I knew I sounded short cut. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. I’m working on my thesis… in a couple of weeks I’m graduating… and…”
“Yes, what…?”
“I was thinking of moving back actually.”

I was filled with mixed feelings. On one hand, I was still angry with him. Angry because he left me. On the other hand, I had not forgotten. It became so obvious when we I heard his voice – I was never over him.
We spoke for a long time.

And when we hung up I had a date.
…
Hans was coming to town to look for a place to rent. Later on Saturday night we had decided to meet at the bistro.

Gosh, it felt lovely to have him close to me.

And I couldn’t stop looking at him.
He was hotter than ever before. Even though he came to our date in a tank top and shorts. (A meeting with a landlord had been longer than expected and he had planned to go to the hotel and change but I had persuaded him it wasn’t necessary)
I even actually liked watching him eating. His table manners can be discussed… I know…

But I was okay with it.
He followed me to the door that night. He insisted on being a true gentleman.

…
Hans had to leave next day, and we couldn’t see each other for a whole week. Yes, we set up our next date almost at once. He texted me the very next day.
“I don’t want to go back. But I have to. When can I see you again?”
Next Saturday he didn’t have to stay in a hotel. He stayed with me.


But believe it or not, we spoke for hours. It was like he’d never been out of my life. He was still my best friend and he was so easygoing and funny.
We talked.
And we just lay there, holding each other.

Me made out.

“I’ve been thinking about you so much. Please forgive me, I love you. I love you.” he whispered.

I looked him straight in the eyes.
“Are you sure you love me?” I asked.
“Yes I am. I love you and I never want to leave you again.”
And that was all I wanted and needed to know there and then.

Today mum and dad told med I’m the official heir. Well, it’s not like Liv is portionless. Our parents have always strived to treat us equally. The whole point is just that only one of the children can own the house, to avoid possible hereditary disputes that may result in a sale to free up money. It has to do with a family promise to  grand grand grand mother Christine who moved to Riverview to build a life. One child gets to own the house and is not allowed to sell it. Siblings are allowed to stay as long as they want, and get money for compensation.

Obviously there is another less explicit demand, other than just manage the house. I’m suppose to have children that can continue the bloodline. That part is actually a little tricky.

1. I’m gay.
Okay. So? You can still have children, can’t you?
2. Well, that’s right, it might be a little more complicated, but it’s possible. Yes. If it wasn’t because I’m single and single gay men aren’t considered the best dad candidates there are.
Single? What? What happened to Hans?
Hans went to college in Sweden. That was what happened. After my 18th birthday (and the party he never attended) he started being distant.

We could sit down chatting, and then in the middle of the conversation, I realised he wasn’t listening.
I could be playing his favourite song on the guitar, and he would be looking like he was pondering on something.

I miss him so much. He’s so beautiful, intelligent, and we shared a lot. He has the body of a greek god – he’s an athlete just like me.
And he broke up at the gym. First we worked out together just like any other day.


But I couldn’t concentrate. I knew something was wrong, I had to ask him. On the way to the locker room, I finally found the courage to ask him.
“Hans, wait. We need to talk.”

He stopped. Looked at me.
“What? About what?”

For a moment I hesitated. He looked so innocent and completely surprised. Maybe I was mistaken? Maybe he’d just been temporarily down? Maybe it was nothing that had something to do with us?

But in that case I should ask to find out what was wrong anyway. I took a deep breath.
“Hans, is there something wrong?”

Long pause. Silence. Hans looked down. At that moment he didn’t need to say more. I already knew.

“You’re leaving me. Aren’t you?”
And then he told me. About how he’d wanted to leave town for a long time. About his dream of studying. Not any particular subject. Just get away, start a life somewhere else.
“We are young… I might come back… In a couple of years… You can visit. It’s not like we can’t see each other. It’s just that… He shrugged his shoulders.
I couldn’t look at him.

He made some lame attempts to comfort me.


“I have to go now.” was all I said. I took a jog home. My eyes hurt and the sight was blurry.
…
…
Six months later
I really hate dating. I’m not into that nonsense flirting at all. At the same time I feel lonely and after advise from my sister I actually put a profile page on one of the bigger gay communities. Most guys don’t even write much, they just load their album with tons of pictures of themselves in underwear. I find those men utterly uninteresting. But finally I found a man, DancingPete28, who didn’t seem to be completely dim and shallow. He wrote a little about his interest in French films, travelling and listed his favourite books.

We started to chat, and then set up a date. Then everything went pretty fast.

His real name is Peter and he works as a lawyer. He’s intelligent… funny…

… and great in bed.

…
I dated Peter for a while but it never clicked. It was fun but something was missing. At the gym I then met Jonas.

Jonas is such a sweet person. And I like his boyish appearance.

Jonas and I have stated to hang out regularly at the gym. It is nice having someone to train with. I always went to the gym with Hans. My family own the gym nowadays by the way. Mum and dad have been investing in a lot of commercial buildings and after obtaining the Riverview Gym they made a complete make-over. It’s a really pleasant place now.

Jonas is funny. A little childish, but very entertaining.

And gosh what a kisser.

…
I’m not seeing Jonas anymore. We didn’t match very well after I got to know him. One day he started playing with some old toys my dad was assorting in the living room.

I found that a real turn off.
…

Almost a year has passed since Hans left town. He’s called and sent me emails a couple of times but I never answer. It’s to painful. When I’m down my friend Andy comforts me.


Andy and I have become close friends recently. We are very alike since none of us likes clubbing or partying. He’s a good listener and we he’s the only one I feel like telling everything.

Unfortunately, I had to destroy that.


I couldn’t help it. I wanted attention… intimacy… tenderness. I knew deep down it was wrong because I have no feelings for Andy. And I was right in my suspicions he had feelings for me. That evening, I was honest and excused myself right after the kiss, and everything was fine.
Until the next day.

I had sore muscles and Andy offered a back massage. But when he was massaging me he leant forward and whispered.
“I want you. Why don’t we go to the bedroom.”

“Andy, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I’ve mislead you. But I don’t want you in that way.”
And that was the end of that friendship.

… Levi!

I’m happy to annonce that Levi will be the fifth generation heir in the Sander legacy. Happy because he was actually my secret favourite. Now I just have to make sure he breeds some cute little Sander babies. But don’t worry about Liv, she will not leave quite yet. Update will come soon!

Generation 5

Liv is still a teen. She was born absent-minded, hating outdoors. She loves spending time indoors, but not necessarily alone. She’s defiantly not a loner. People around her might believe she’s just a party girl. But secretly she aims high. Her dream is to become an astronaut. She is still single, but quite certain about what she likes – boys. There has been a couple of them…

Levi, now a young adult, is besides the family trait bookworm an athlete and a virtuoso. He later developed the traits good and unflirty and his lifetime wish is to become a Sports superstar. He’s gay and in a relationship with his teenage love Hans. Hans is everything to him and all he wants to is to settle down and start a family on his own. But is that love for real?

Yesterday was my 15 th birthday. I didn’t ask for a birthday party. Well, at least not with my parents, as they suggested. Mum insisted. As always. I don’t get it. We don’t even get along very well.

A colored my hair a couple of weeks ago. She got hysterical.

I just sat there, reading a book, and she started yelling at me.


I couldn’t help but making fun of her because she looked so ridiculous. I now it was childish of me, but I couldn’t help it.
Sometimes it feels like we comes from two different planets.

Anyway, I still have my fuchsia hair color. As long as my brother has long hair and piercings, I refuse to do anything to look more “normal” or whatever she calls it.
…
I know she’s talking to my brother Levi about me. Levi and I are best friends. So is he and mum.

The thing is I feel kind of bad about mum. I know she means well. It’s just that she’s worried about everything and wants to butt in everything. I feel like I can’t talk to her. I usually speak to Levi or dad.

…
My brother is gay. I’ve known it for a long time – no way he could fool me with all those girls hanging around the house. He has a boyfriend, Hans, and I was the first one to suspect they were more than friends. Hans has been Levi’s best friend for years. Nothing strange with that, if it wasn’t for me hearing them through the wall. Hey, what did Levi think? I have the room next to him! Anyway, it took a long time for him telling mum and dad. He’s allmost 18 now, graduating school and everything, but I thought it was a little coosy, waiting so long when it’s that obvious.

Levi decided to tell a Sunday. After brunch, when we already had finished, he asked us to sit down with him again. I realised where the conversation was going I excused my self… it was just to embarrassing. I told Levi we could talk later.

It all seem to go well anyway. No screaming or crying. I think at least mum would already know. Dad is a little more simpleminded.
Anyway, later, when I passed the hallway I could see them, chatting all happy together.

…
Levi is the best big brother any little sister could have. My life is a mess but he’s taking care of me. Levi has a big circle of friends. I don’t even know where all people come from. It was almost as if the house was filled from one day to another.

All his friends are at least two years older than me, of course. A couple of years ago, Levi would never let me hang around his friends, but now,  he’s.. let’s say he silently accepts it.
The gatherings are normally rather clean. Sometimes we meet at a park.

Sometimes we meet at our house.

Even mum can attend.
But then… when our parents are away… it’s a little different…



Levi took care of me the other day when I screw up completely.
I was drunk. Of course I was drunk. I was feeling great and flirting with everyone. Secretly I have a crush on Matthew…



But I there are also Scot and Aidan.
They are brothers and I don’t know if the they are competing or something like that. Scot is dating Maya, but he’s flirty with all girls.

And so is Scot…

Scot and I actually went to my bedroom that night. We didn’t make out or anything like that, but there was a tension between us. We were laying on my bed for an hour or so, without touching.

Anyway… the other day I really made a fool of myself. For some strange reason, I came up with the not so brilliant idea of dancing in my black silky negligee. I had bought it just for fun, and decided to try it out in the living room in front of every one. Maya started taking her clothes of, and a couple of minutes later we were dancing there.


I don’t remember the exact details, but I remember that my brother suddenly stood there beside me. And he wasn’t happy.

Then everything was silent. He had turned the music off. And the next moment the room was empty, except for the two of us. He was angry first.
But then he looked sorry and worried.
“I’ll help you to bed”
“I can walk myself”. Inside i felt mortified. I just wanted to disappear.

But my brother was right. I could hardly walk the stairs.

He told me the next day I started snoring as soon as I’d put my head on the pillow.
…

Levi is keeping an eye on me on every party since. He won’t let me drink anything… But it’s fine, because I’ve decided to calm down and be a little more serious in life. I know no-one will believe me, and therefore I’ve never told anyone, but I actually dream of becoming an astronaut.

…

Levi is 18 now. We had a (nonalcoholic) party yesterday.

it was a pool party. Actually a great event even though I really hate the outdoors. Everybody was there!
Levi is a what other girls would call a hunk now. He’s been training every single day lately. He’s almost always at the gym, or running, or playing football. He’s already planned his future and is planning on becoming a professional athlete. He has developed the trait unflirty by the way.  He never visit clubs, he has never really been dating – he is as far as I know an extremely monogamous person. If  Hans proposed tomorrow I don’t doubt he’d say yes without a moment of hesitation.

Aww… Poor girls. I could see many of his friends staring at that body!
Today when I got home from school he had made a complete make-over. Gosh, I could hardly recognize him.

“Hey sis’, do you think Hans would like my new style?” he asked.

Hans. Hans? Damn. Hans who never showed up to the party. The Hans who was more and more absent. The love of my brother’s life, but was Levis the love of his?

I’m in love. It is not the first time. But it’s the first time it’s for real.

It feels like Hans was my first, even though I had been with many others before. But those earlier connections, that was not real. That was not desire. And it was certainly not love. Before Hans I’d only met girls.

I love Hans.

I feel such tenderness and affection. From the day I started to look at him in a new way at the gym:

.. to the moment I couldn’t take my eyes of him when we made some goofy dancing moves at the new swimming pool in town. (that was the night when I think it “clicked” between the two of us, my confidence grew because I felt the tension between us for the first time, it was something in the way he looked at me for the first time)..

… but it all started for real the night when we went to the park…


That was the night when he came home with me afterwards. And we made out.

He had stayed the night many times before. He already was one of my closest friends. Usually he would have one of the guest rooms downstairs, but that night I asked him to stay with me. I was so nervous I was shaking.

And I was still shivering when Hans took my hand and led me to the bed. The best part was that we actually didn’t do much more than holding each other, kissing, hugging… God knows I wanted him badly. My whole body was aching. But it was still perfect and I’d rather wait than ruin that.
..
It all had been perfect the day after too, if it wasn’t for mum. For some stupid reason – she came into my room in the morning! I don’t think she’d ever come into my room without knocking before! It was just so terrible embarrassing. I got up and yelled at her like an idiot. Well, I feel bad about that now. I’ve not come out of the closet yet. Silly isn’t it?

I’m aware people don’t consider me to be gay. I registered on an online gay forum once, but I found out quickly that wasn’t for me. Listening to hit music, dance at clubs in my underwear – it’s not my thing. I know I have a quarky style. Some people believe I was born in the wrong decade. Long hair? And a hat? Do you like Guns’ n’ roses? As a matter of fact I do. But I do like music as Beatles, The Cure and Pet shop boys aswell. Maybe I was born in the wrong decade after all. So. Does it matter? No. Because I’m happy.

…

I love my family. At least we were a family once. That was before mum’s affair. Before she temporarily moved out. I think I could cope pretty well. Liv, my little sister, didn’t take it that well though. We are close, Liv and I. Still, she doesn’t open up easily. She usually escapes into her books.

And she hates being outdoors. As a child, she started to paint and started hiding at the easel in her room.

She likes music aswell. Not like she’s really playing an instrument, but she often begs me to play some of her favourite songs.

I think dad has tried to talk to her about him and dad though. She’s very much a daddy’s girl. And after what happen between him and mum, I can’t blame her.

…

Mum is moving back home! It looks like dad actually did forgive her. I love my mum, even though I still hate what she did. I don’t think they meant their children to know all the details about what happened, but it was hard not to discover it. They were fighting and then mum suddenly moved to my aunt! After their separation it was like dad got old overnight. I’ve never seen him that tired. I felt his pain. But I’ve been close to mum my whole life and I felt for her too. I could see her pain to, and I feel like she got her punishment.

…

Mum is old too now. But still a beauty! One day, when she came home for one of her “visits”, she declared she was going to stay.

It looks like mum and dad are happy together again.

I love having mum back for real. I mean, it was not like we didn’t see each other while she was staying with Noomi, but it’s different now when everything has settled. Lately, I’ve been trying to tell her about Hans. I suppose she might suspect what’s going on since she walked in on us, but I would talk to her about my feelings. Come out from the closet.

Unfortunatly, it’s hard, because all she talks about is Liv and how concerned about her.

Mum is worried because Liv barley speaks to her. I think Liv knows and understands more than mum wants to think. Liv is still angry with her and she’s well aware that mum did something to hurt dad. I’ve tried to talk to Liv about it, but she doesn’t say much. I try the best I can to encourage mum to try to reach Liv on her own…

I’ve never been much of a writer, I don’t even read books more than sporadically. Usually, I feel relaxed and happy with music. I listen to it, or play the guitar. But now I just felt I had to write. I have so many thoughts and this seems like the only way to sort things out.

I’ve been betrayed. I know that my marriage hasn’t been on top the latest years. But then, it’s almost ironic, that my wife’s the one who cheats. When we met, I was the flirty one. The not monogamous type.

It was just a couple of days after my birthday, that I found out. By mistake. Or by chance. She probably never intended to tell me.

I was going to play a computer game, and Emmy Lou had been by the computer in the studio right before me. She had forgotten to close the web browser, and there it was. Her cheesy blog. Her words. All about him.

I couldn’t help it, even though I didn’t want to read, I read it all. She had started fancy Henry, her therapist from the very first day they met. The therapist I send her too! I thought he helped her by doing his work – obviously he did something else too. Shagged my wife! There is not one single day when manage to not think about it. I hate thinking about it, but the pictures are there…



They did it in my house. Well, at least she was courteous enough not to use our bedroom. On the blog she writes:
“After Henry and I had visited the Goya art exhibition he came with me to my house. I asked him for tea but we never drank it. I couldn’t keep my hands of him. He wanted to go upstairs, but I took him to the guest room downstairs. The sex was amazing, I hadn’t felt anything like it for years….”
…
I confronted her at once. She came home late that night. She had told me she had a dinner with an important colleague at the town hall after work. I doubted that. I didn’t want the kids to see or hear us, therefore I ran outside to catch her on her way inside.
I was furious and have to admit I acted rashly and immature.

“Have you been with him. Have you? Answer me! Did you have amazing sex with your therapist again???”

She looked shocked.

After a long pause, she said:
“Do you know about Henry?”

We talked for while. Or actually, I yelled, she cried. Then asked me for forgiveness. Her excuse was a cliché:
“I regret it. I regret everything. It was just once. I promise. At least the sex. The sex was good but that was just because I missed it. I felt so bad. I love you. I love you Cameron!”

“I think you’d better find somewhere else to sleep tonight… I don’t want you in my house.” I said coldly.
…
I turned around and start walking towards the house. I could hear Emmy Lou open the garage door, to get her car behind my back. At the same time I saw my daughter Liv, staring through the hallway window.

My heart sank. Liv is 8 and a very smart little girl. How much did she understand by watching us? Did she hear us scream?
When I came inside she just stood there, with the back towards the door.

“Liv. Come here. How are you?” I asked as soft I could. We have always been close. Actually closer that Liv and Emmy Lou. Levi on the other hand is mummy’s boy, has always been.

“Why are you angry with mum? Where is she? Where did she go? she asked.
And I tried to explain. Not the whole truth of course. She would find out when she was old enough to understand anyway.
“Mummy and dad are not getting along right now. We have somethings to sort out. Adult stuff. And in the meantime, she’s staying at a hotel, so that we don’t have to fight. Ok?”
Liv ran upstairs to her room without a word.
…
So, here I am. The betrayed husband. Month has passed, and Emmy Lou has not moved back. She stays with her sister Noomi, but we share the responsibility with the kids. they’re usually with her in the weekends, and during evenings when I work at the theatre, she comes home to be with them several days a week. I can’t blame her for not being a good mum. We have started to talk too. Like adult people. Sometimes we meet at the new park. We talk about our feelings.
I told her how much I have hated her.

But I don’t hate her anymore. I believe her when she says she never had any real feelings for Henry. I believe her when she tells me it had nothing to do with love. She was confused, in desperate need for attention. And right afterwards it all felt wrong. Now, I understand more what she’s talking about.
I told her about my affair.Yes, I met someone else too. If her infidelity was an unethical, mine is an old-mans-cliché. I went out with the maid, Linn. She is 22, I’m old enough to be her grandpa. What she sees in me, I have no idea. But obviously it’s something, because she was the one who asked me out. She understood there were problems in my marriage, and took a chance.

We only went out twice though. She’s beautiful. But I feel nothing. Actually, I felt bad.



Emmy Lou was shocked to hear about me and Linn. But as she said, what could she say?
Then she suddenly changed subject.
“I think Levi is gay”
“What?” I asked.

Levi is 16 now. As a teenager he became good. As I wrote earlier, he’s a mummy’s boy. Not girlie, not at all. Just sweet, polite, well-mannered. Even though he doesn’t look like that. Neither Emmy Lou or I were fond of those piercings, but what could we do?  As long as he did well in school, we accepted it.

He was such a shy boy when he was a kid. Hardly had any friends at all, since Emmy Lou had been with him every single day.
“What do you mean, gay? How do you know he’s gay?” I asked, truly surprised. In my imagination he was a ladies man. In high-school he’d suddenly gone from having only just one friend, to a lot of them. Many were girls.


It’s understandable though. I know what power music is…

… and besides being a virtuous, he’s athletic. No doubt girls like him.

“I caught him in bed with another boy.” Emmy Lou said frankly.
“Emmy Lou! How could you not tell me! He’s sixteen for god’s sake!” I yelled.
“How could I tell you. We never spoke. I thought you would understand some day.” Emmy Lou smiled. She looked so calm.
“But when… and how…. with whom?”
So Emmy Lou began to tell me.
“It was with Hans. His best friend who I actually helped him find when he was so lonely in second grade…”
“Hans Winter? He’s stayed the night since they were kids. Like friends! Are you sure you didn’t misinterpret?”
“Well, they were spooning… I don’t think that’s anything teenage boys who are just friends do…”

…You know, this was right before I moved out. It was almost noon, so I had no idea Levi was still in bed when I entered the room!”

“What happened?” I asked.
“Levi woke up. He was angry of course. Chased me out of the room.”

“Did you talk later?”
“I tried to. But he denied it. So what could I do?” Emmy Lou shrugged her shoulders.
We sat in silence. It was a lot for me to take in. What kind of father had I been the last months? Or the last years? At first I had been constantly worrying Levi would grow up to an asocial freak. A kid no other kid wanted to play with because he acted weird. And then he seemed to develop like any other child.
He obviously was fine. But did I know him?
…
There is actually more to tell. When we sat there on the bench in the park after she’d told me about Levi, I really felt that we started to get closer again. She told me she was so sad. And I could she was going to cry.

“Come here darling, don’t go.” I said. And I put my arm around her.

And then we just sat there. In silence.

Is Levi gay? And what if he is gay, can he still be the heir? Yes, of course, I have a solution of any outcome. Find out more in the next chapter… when it’s Levi’s turn to tell his side of the story…

Oh, I don’t know where to begin. This is all so painful, confusing and not least embarrassing. My son Levi and I visited the park a couple of weeks ago. And I did a really stupid thing. I know that now. I know it was wrong and now there is something wrong with me.

Ok. Let’s tell you all the story from the beginning. Levi is the most adorable kid. He’s perfect. I can’t believe he’s growing up this fast. He’s now at school, but still my baby of course.

He’s a bookworm, like the rest of the family. He’s doing really well at school. We make a great team. Well, at least we did. I know I’ve always been a little over protecting, and he doesn’t have many friends. But he seemed happy.

I don’t really like Levi using the climbing frame. I’m always afraid he’s going to fall and hurt himself. But I have to let him. He loves being outdoors doing stuff, he’s a real athlete already!


I keep an eye on him. And always he looks back at me now and then, smiles and waves. He’s so sweet my little boy.
“Mum, you shouldn’t worry about me. I’m always careful. And strong” He says. And smiles while he’s flexing his little thin arm.

But it was by the swings it all went wrong. I sat down for a minute, tried to relax with a book. My day had been stressful, I came straight from a formal dinner with another municipality politician. I heard Levi laugh, and occasionally I glanced at him, just to make sure he was fine.
At then I saw him. The man, a complete stranger, staring at my boy!

What I did was a little precipitous. Well, maybe a lot. I crossed a line, but at that moment my fear took over. All sense disappeared and all I could think of was that the man wanted to hurt my son. I’ve read to many articles about pedophiles abducting children. I know it’s rare, but I couldn’t think clearly. My urge to protect was awake and like an angry lioness defending her lion babies from another flock… I attacked.

The man looked completely shocked.

I don’t even remember what I said exactly. But I immediately realised I might be wrong. All he’d done was watching Levi on the swings. Like any ordinary people could do. Enjoy watching kids playing…
The man told me I was sick. That I needed help. Levi looked terrified and ashamed.
We went home and I went straight to bed, hid myself in the bedroom. But I heard Levi talking to Cameron downstairs.


Actually, I could hear Levi cry. And Cameron comforting him.

The very next morning Cameron had his little talk with me…



He begged me to see a therapist. I need to work on my over protecting and separation anxiety issues.

So I agreed on seeing Dr Henry Blanchett. He was new in town but had been working as a psychologist for 15 years. He’d also written several books about parenting. He seemed very qualified, and everyone told me he was the best.

No one told me he was a hottie though… First time I met him I literally got tongue-tiedness. All I could do was stare when He walked into the room.

After a while, I could start talking. And yeah. He’s good. Even though I never feel completely relaxed when I’m with him.
We talk…

… and he says all the right things… that make me feel calm. And more confident and secure as a mother.
..
But I can’t help myself fantisizing about Henry. He is just too sexy and me and Cameron, well, let’s just say it’s not very thrilling. Cameron is a great husband and father but that’s about it. I have a secret fantasy. And Cameron isn’t in it. It starts with me coming home after a long day at work. I long for a hot bath and glass of Chardonnay. But when I enter the bathroom, someone else is already in the bathtub…

.
Oh my god,. Whats wrong with me? First I was all obsessed with my children. Now I’m all obsessed with my therapist!

I hope you liked my new update that was a little different. If you miss content about Liv, or Cameron’s and Levi’s point of view, hold on. I’m planning on ending this generation by another three updates with Cameron, Levi and Liv leaving their thoughts while the kids grow up! But I loved playing this chapter. The more wacky Emmy Lou got, the more fun it was creating the story.

And finally, one of the IVF actually worked. The embryo stayed in Emmy Lou’s body and she could hardly believe it was true when she saw the blue cross on pregnancy test. She had to take another four, and then one every day for two weeks until her first appointment at the doctor.

Cameron was thrilled.

Emmy Lou was hesitant to tell anyone except Cameron in the beginning, and not until her bump was really showing, she started telling anyone. But then, she felt like wanting to tell the whole world.

She was very determined to do everything right the whole pregnancy.

She started hanging out with her sister Noomi. Since she was a doctor, Emmy Lou asked her all kinds of question and Noomi did her best to calm her down. Although she secretly though Emmy Lou was a bit annoying, all self centered and not being able to talk about anything except her pregnancy.


She read all pregnancy books she could find.

She surfed the web for tips and advises. She was a member to sveral forums where she met other pregnant women with whom she could discuss everything from back ache to what to eat, what do do and not to do. She became obsessed with all the health advises there were.

She bought a DVD with a work out program for pregnant woman that she practised every day.

Cameron was surprised to see her starting to cook. Emmy Lou had never liked it, but now she prepared her special “pregnant safe” food every day…

“Emmy Lou, it’s just a toast. How come you won’t let me do it?” He asked once.
And he immediately regret it.
“This bread is made by a bio dynamic spelt flour. It has all natural ingredients, no extra salt and the cheese is made of ecological, yet pasteurized milk which is locally produced. If you made a toast I would never now what kind of strange ingredients you’d throw in. Ok?” She snapped.

Cameron felt excluded and a little worried about Emmy Lou’s obsession. But when he talked to his friends about it, he got a little calmer, since they told him that  many pregnant woman changes during those months. And since they had been trying so hard for this, maybe it was not that strange that Emmy Lou was so focused? Cameron also tried to look at all the happy moments, and was the perfect expecting father, always making a lot of effort to please his wife.

…
After 42 weeks, Cameron rushed to the hospital from one of his shows at the theatre, just to realise that it was just the beginning of a 38 hour long labour.

It was a rough experience, and both parents were exhausted. In the end, luckily everything went well, and little baby boy Levi was born:

Levi was born a virtuoso just like his father, and also athletic.
He was adored.

For a couple of months, it was like both of them were on the cloud nine again.

And if Cameron had felt excluded, it was like the child made them come closer again.

… actually…

… very close….
Only 8 months after Levi was born, Emmy Lou had to take another five pregnancy test to be completely sure she was actually pregnant again. And this time without help. She could hardly believe it. And it was with mixed feelings. Cameron seemed all excited this time, therefore Emmy Lou didn’t say that she was actually a little worried. She had already started worrying about all that could happen to her Levi, and now she had another life to care about.
…
Levi was all healthy though. And he grew up to the cutest little toddler.


Cameron worked odd hours at the theatre. Most days, Emmy Lou was all alone with Levi, giving him a lot of attention and affection.

She mostly stayed at home. She didn’t feel safe outside the house. When she went to the park, she had difficulties relaxing.
She was worried about other people (will they try to kidnap him?)

(Or would he hurt himself?)


Cameron started thinking she was a little over protecting. He could accept the fact that his wife refused to hire a baby sitter, but he couldn’t accept the fact that Emmy Lou would let him, Levi’s own father, look after him.

Cameron tried to talk to her, but it was like she didn’t want to understand.

“Well, I can’t understand why you won’t let me be a good mother. I love my child, what’s wrong with love?”

…
The pregnancy was a night mare to Cameron. Emmy Lou’s was constant worrying and in a bad mood. Except from when she played with Levi, of course.
When their daughter finally was born, Cameron felt a great relief. “Hopefully she will not have time to worry that much any more”, Cameron secretly thought.
This time the labour also was easier, and Liv was born after just six hours at the hospital. She was born absent minded and for some reason she hated the outdoors.

But instead of calming down, Emmy Lou’s over protecting tendencies just grew.


Emmy Lou always had an eye on Cameron when he was taking care of the kids. She made remarks on everything from the way he prepared food to how he changed their diapers. Cameron silently accepted. He just didn’t want to fight. He just loved his children, and wanted them all to be a happy family.
Levi and Cameron started to develop a tie of friendship.


unfortunately, Emmy Lou had difficulties hiding her jealousy.
And they started fighting.


…
Liv aged up to toddler aswell.


And Emmy Lou started feeling insufficient. No matter how hard she tried to fulfill both her kids needs, two arms wasn’t enough. Reluctantly, she had to let Cameron be an active part of parenthood aswell.



Still, she refused to leave her children to someone else. She started to work, but that was only because Cameron worked nights and she knew he would be at home, even though they hired a nanny. She would never, ever, leave her kids to someone else. Not even her sisters.
“Over protecting? Me? I just love them. I love them so much.” She snorted if anyone dared to question her parenting. Inside of her she knew, that her behavoir wasn’t quite normal. She was terrified. That was what she was.